My wife Hanna and I travel very well together. We’re both compulsively punctual, reasonably organized and open to new experiences. That’s part of what makes our adventures together so memorable and allows them to blossom into greatness.
When it comes to planning, however, we take totally different approaches.
I want to know everything about a place before I get there. I’ll review YouTube, TripAdvisor, Facebook, and any other corners of the web, to make sure that I know where to go, when to go there, and which side-treks to undertake. I’m also what my brother calls a “maximizer” – in other words, if we go someplace and eat at a perfectly serviceable restaurant but later find out that there’s something much better, I feel dejected that I’ve missed an opportunity to experience that greatness.
Hanna, on the other hand, would rather be surprised by her adventures. She wants to see things for the first time through her own eyes, without any preconceptions, and she relishes the novelty of it all. And while she loves great food and great experiences, she’s not quite the “maximizer” that I am.
This difference will manifest itself in our conversations. “Don’t you want to see the video?” as I queue up YouTube to show her the option of a dog sledding trip on a glacier.
“No, don’t show me,” she’ll say. After 15 years of marriage, I still don’t fully get it, but I can respect it. The only time I’ll insist is when I want to show her a menu ahead of time, to ensure that we don’t arrive at a restaurant and find out that they don’t have any options that fit her low-carb lifestyle.
I suppose this is just one more sign that we’re well-suited for each other. Two non-planners would likely end up on a road to nowhere, and two overplanners might end up clashing over their conflicting conclusions. Marriage is tough enough no matter what – there’s no need to fight over what should be some of the best experiences of your life together.
